drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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