You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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