P.S. I can't hear my feet
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
