so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
