Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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