I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Come back. Shots need mouths.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
