i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
