At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize