I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I see more hoeing in ur future
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