Non-Jews are for practice
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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