The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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