Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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