Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
