the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
