i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
