Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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