I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
All the doctor said was why
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
