i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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