This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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