Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
