I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
