Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
