guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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