I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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