She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
