Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
