HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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