So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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