So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Randomize
