Have you finally orgasmed yet?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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