They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
