you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize