We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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