sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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