...so i touched it.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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