You just made me feel so damn special
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You smell like stripper and shame
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
