Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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