Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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