Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
