This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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