Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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