babies were throwing up all over the place
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
