Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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