His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
