The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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