It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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