Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
