Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize