i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
