woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
