how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize