I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
sex in a hospital.. check
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
