You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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