talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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