Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
