I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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