Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
