I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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