I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
